By Manus Clancy
Don’t be that guy is an expression that has gotten a lot of mileage in recent years. Often, it is used by friends and coworkers to warn one another not to be the one wearing the lamp shade on their head at the company Christmas gathering, or at your friend’s engagement party.
With that in mind, we offer up our own list of “don’t be that guy” for recreational hockey players. Violating any of the rules below is sure to land you in the penalty box with your teammates, and rightly so. So don’t Be That Guy.
1) Water Bottles If your team has community water bottles, don’t be that guy that puts his mouth on the straw. The bottles squeeze in the middle for a reason… so that water squirts from the straw. Don’t start a cold-sore epidemic on the team.
2) Tape Everyone runs out of tape now and then, so it’s OK to ask a teammate for tape periodically. However, don’t be that guy that NEVER buys tape.
3) Goal Scoring Ever see the jerk who celebrates each goal they score as if it was the game winner in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals? Don’t be that guy.
4) Backchecking Just like the guy that becomes a close talker after a few cocktails, a player that never backchecks will be persona non grata over time. Don’t be that guy that coasts back on defense.
5) Get Off the Ice Some guys never know when to leave the party. They’re usually the ones that suspect people are talking about them the next day but are not quite sure why. Similarly, some players don’t know when it’s time to head for the bench. A 5-minute shift will not make you any friends, so don’t be that guy that hogs ice time.
6) Shower Shoes No one likes itchy feet (no need for fungus among us!). Don’t be that guy that shares his foot fungus with the team. Bring your flip flops!
7) Warm Beer Hockey players typically are not known as beer snobs, and anyone who brings a cooler to the rink deserves a nod, regardless of the label on the can or bottle. That being said, all good will can be lost quickly if the suds are warm. Don’t be that guy that brings Molson’s if they’re served at room temp!
8) Show Up If you say you’ll be at the game, be at the game. Nothing is worse than expecting 10 skaters for an 11pm game and having 7 show up. It’s like forgetting your mom on Mother’s Day. Unacceptable. Don’t be that guy that doesn’t show up.
9) Handshakes Everyone seems to be quite passionate about this subject (check out our on the post-game handshake). Don’t be that guy who keeps his glove on in the handshake line!
10) Wash Your Jersey Just kidding. Do whatever you want with your jersey. It can’t be worse than your gloves!
Manus Clancy has been playing rec hockey for over 20 years. He does everything he can to avoid being “that guy.”
Care to add something to this list? Do it below!