Bringing your girlfriend (or wife) to your rec hockey game can be a blessing—or a curse. Here are 10 reasons why.
By Wayne Shuster
Perception: Unless you’re a bender, she will probably find that watching you play hockey is a sexy turn-on
Reality: Once she gets to know you better, she’ll discover your habit of screaming at the sight of a spider
Perception: Every guy looks bigger and tougher with shoulder pads on
Reality: Once those pads come off, she sees you as the balding, pot-bellied has-been (or never-was) you really are
Perception: Hockey players look cool when hopping over the boards
Reality: One slip-up and you make an ass of yourself in front of her (and whoever else decides to show up to watch a 10:30 pm rec hockey game)
Perception: If you’re a beauty on the ice, you get to show off your natural athletic abilities
Reality: If you’re a tripod who uses a hockey stick as a cane, there’s nothing you can do to make her believe you’re an athlete
Perception: Seeing your girl in the stands at your rec hockey game will make you play harder
Reality: There’s a good chance she’ll be the only spectator there. And if she happens to glance up from her smartphone to watch you, it only increases the odds of her classifying you and your buddies as losers.
Perception: Your GF can now see those end-to-end scoring rushes for herself, instead of taking your word for it
Reality: Now that she gets to see how you really play, she’ll never believe anything you tell her about those sick goals you scored
In the Spotlight
Perception: When you see your girl in the stands, you quickly forget the team because the spotlight is now on you
Reality: That may be true, but the rest of the team sees how much of a jerk you are when she’s around
Perception: If you’re going to have a beer or two after the hockey game, you’ve got your instant designated driver
Reality: A beer after the game is sometimes better than the game itself. Who wants to rush that part of the night?
Drive Her Crazy
Perception: Having her ride with you to and from the hockey game allows for precious time to spend together
Reality: Your smelly hockey bag could end the relationship on the spot. (Note: if you’re a true gentleman, you’ll make sure she has sufficient taxicab fare, just in case.)
Perception: You’ve got someone to help you manage your hockey bag, your sticks, and the cooler of beer for after the game
Reality: After watching you play, she might think she could play better than you and that you should be carrying her bag
Wayne Shuster is a New Jersey real estate broker. He chooses to go to his games solo.
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